This story contains distressing details about pregnancy and infant loss.
Many people associate pregnancy with joy and excitement. However, what some may not know is that a significant number of pregnancies end in loss. This can be a devastating experience, and yet many people feel alone and unsupported as they grieve.
This is according to advocates like Nicole Shannon, who has personally endured the heartbreak of eight pregnancy losses. She recalls to CBC News feeling “absolutely devastated” after learning about her latest ectopic pregnancy, which required emergency surgery.
Shannon isn’t alone in her experience. The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada estimates that 15 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
Struggling in silence
Despite these numbers, pregnancy loss remains a topic shrouded in secrecy. Laura Spencer, a fertility coach, explains that the lack of open discussion can make individuals feel isolated, especially if they don’t have someone close who has experienced a similar loss.
She adds, “Even if you know it’s not your fault […] it’s really easy to feel like it’s your fault.”
This silence can be fuelled by several factors. Spencer highlights the inadequacy of sex education, which often focuses solely on preventing pregnancy rather than the realities of possible complications. She also points to the current debates around reproductive rights, which can create an atmosphere of shame around pregnancy loss.
Marise Knoesen understands this struggle all too well. She lost her pregnancy at five months due to a rare condition. The isolation caused by the pandemic made grieving even more difficult. She found solace through social media communities, where she connected with others who shared her experience.
“It was my lifeline,” she says.
The emotional toll of pregnancy loss can be immense. The pressure to feel responsible, combined with societal awkwardness around grief, can leave individuals feeling unheard and unsupported.
Building support
Kimberley Lockhart, founder of Butterfly Run B.C., knows the importance of building supportive spaces for those who have experienced pregnancy loss. She established the organization after the stillbirth of her son, Wilder. Lockhart recalls feeling a desperate need to connect with others who understood her pain.
Butterfly Run began as a memorial walk/run and has since grown into a registered charity offering support groups, counselling services, and community events.
Even more, researchers like Jennifer Dimoff, from the University of Ottawa, are studying the experiences of grieving parents and working with organizations like the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Centre (PILSC) to develop better support systems.
By understanding the challenges faced by those affected, the goal is to create more inclusive workplaces and provide essential resources like counselling and peer support. This research is shedding light on a sensitive topic and working towards a future where women experiencing pregnancy loss feel supported and understood.
The stories of Shannon, Knoesen, and Lockhart highlight the need for increased awareness and support for those facing pregnancy and infant loss. By openly discussing pregnancy loss and creating supportive communities, we can help alleviate the stigma and ensure that no one grieves alone.
